


In Sickness and In Health

by melenafrey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 11:23:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melenafrey/pseuds/melenafrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Full moons leave just as many emotional wounds as physical wounds, and those are often more troubling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Sickness and In Health

The front door opened with a bang, prompting Remus to look up from where he had been sitting at the tiny kitchen table. He’d been staring despondently into a glass of water he’d managed to pour for himself but found he didn’t have the strength to drink much of. After one tiring sip, he’d allowed the glass to just sit, and he had sat with it, perched on the stylish but somewhat uncomfortable wooden chair. His chin nodding, his eyelids drooping, he had been falling asleep- until the door shutting had startled him into abrupt wakefulness.  
Someone had entered, walking around the entrance hall with quiet little stomps, as though they were frustrated but making a concentrated effort to be quiet anyway. It was very likely Sirius. Remus couldn’t think of anyone else who would come home at this time, and be as courteous in doing so.  
“Don’t have time to see James.” It was Sirius then- grumbling to himself as he came home. Remus could hear the familiar grunts of irritation and slide of smooth leather as he removed his coat and hung it on the peg Remus had insisted on installing in the hall (“it’s in the interest of cleanliness, Sirius.” “You take all of the fun out of living on our own, Moony,”).  
“God knows he should have the lunar calendar fucking memorized as well as me because of all those nights we spent-”  
Sirius stalked sleekly, muttering to himself angrily as he rounded the corner. “I couldn’t stop looking for those dates if I-” He stopped short when he saw who was at the table. His gray eyes widened infinitesimally in surprise. “Remus, what are you doing up?”  
Remus smiled thinly, not feeling the emotion he was attempting to convey. “Didn’t feel like sitting in bed all day.”  
Sirius pursed his lips as though deciding whether or not to pursue the argument before shaking his head in annoyance. “Doesn’t matter, you need rest. Last night was rough for you.”  
Remus fixed his gaze back on the glass of water moodily. “It wasn’t exactly pleasant for you, either, and you’re up and about.”  
Sirius hesitated slightly. He seemed unsure of exactly what the problem was, now, and needed to choose which argument to try in order to get Remus out of his mood.  
“You didn’t hurt me last night,” Sirius attempted softly, dropping into the chair across from Remus.  
Remus let out a bark of forced laughter. Sirius winced at the unnatural sound, a pale shadow of real amusement. “I always hurt you, somehow. Even if I can’t see any bruises or cuts on you, you’re still sore. You still have to come home and play nursemaid to me instead of going out with James. Your whole life gets disrupted every month-”  
“Remus!” Sirius looked rather alarmed at how quickly the argument had escalated. “It’s not as big of a deal as you seem to think it is.”  
Remus looked murderous. “Not as big- Sirius-”  
Sirius’ eyes widened and he quickly moved to placate him. “No, Remus, you misunderstand me- I only meant-”  
“What did you mean?” Remus snarled, his lip lifted to show his teeth in a more feral expression than Sirius was used to the day after the full.  
“I don’t mind it, Remus, I don’t mind being here for you.”  
Remus snorted angrily, waving a hand dismissively. “You don’t mind now, maybe. But how long are you really willing to put up with all this?”  
Sirius stared at him, not quite believing the extent to which Remus had carried his point. “What are you-”  
“You can’t want this kind of life forever, Sirius. I’m barely twenty, and I feel like an old man already some days. Why on earth would anyone tie themselves to a person in my condition, especially-” Remus broke off momentarily, tearing his gaze away from Sirius to the un-drunk glass of water. “Especially someone like you,” he finished more quietly.  
“What do you mean, someone like me?” Sirius demanded tartly. “Someone like me more likely to run off, is that it?”  
Remus looked pained, and it was all Sirius could do to maintain his indignant glare and ignore the guilt at his expression. “Someone like you should be living,” he stressed.  
“What does that even mean, Remus? What on earth makes you think I’m not?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair.  
“You’re taking care of me all the time. You’re paying the bills, since I can’t find employment. I don’t contribute anything to the household-”  
“Remus,” Sirius cut in, sounding vaguely chastising. Remus met his look of fond exasperation and seemed to lose all his fight suddenly, appearing like a popped balloon. Sirius leant forward over the table and rested his crossed arms upon it. “Remus, even if that were true, I wouldn’t care, because you’re- well, you’re you. But you do plenty of things- you’re the one who cooks and makes sure the house looks presentable most of the time, and you’re looking for work, Remus, you’ll find it, even if it takes longer than you’d like.” He paused, gaze flickering down to his bare forearms before rising to meet Remus’ again. “You keep me sane, Remus. You balance me out. We are literally the most perfect match in the whole history of wizards, or muggles for that matter, so perfect for each other that you thinking I would rather do anything else is ridiculous.” He smiled faintly. “What’s one day of every month, Remus, when I know it’s much worse for you than it could ever be for me? You are the bravest and best person I know, so it’s an honor to be the one who looks after you when you can’t be as strong as you’d like.”  
He extended one arm, palm up, across the table, and Remus slid a hand forward slowly in reciprocation, tangling his fingers in with Sirius’. They both stared at the tanned and weathered digits interlocked with the pale and smooth ones. Sirius squeezed once and flicked his gaze back to Remus’ tired and wan face, smiling at him in encouragement. “Someone like me couldn’t be doing anything more worthy with his time, nor enjoy it as much.” He allowed Remus to squeeze his hand, noting with some concern the way his arm trembled slightly.  
“Sirius…” Sirius waited calmly, amazed as always at how Remus’ presence brought out a vast well of patience in him, invisible and inaccessible to everyone else he met. “Sirius, you have the potential to do…so much. You could be so much more without me…”  
Sirius scoffed, quitting that line of thinking before it could really take off. “And what, take up with some bird instead? Some boring girl from Hogwarts…or worse, do as Regulus surely will, and marry some cousin and produce even more inbred Blacks? Remus,” he laughed, bringing their joined hands to his mouth to press several loving kisses to the scarred knuckles, “what else could you really see me doing?”  
Remus looked lost at the tender expression of love being bestowed upon him. “I…I can see us, together. But I always thought…it’s not safe. To assume we both wanted that. I’m only going to get worse as we get older, you know.”  
Sirius laughed. “And I’m only going to get crazier, so we’ll see who really has the short end of the stick then.” He grinned impishly, prompting a small chuckle from Remus.  
“I…this one was just really bad. I don’t like feeling so weak, knowing you have to drop your plans for me.”  
Sirius nodded. “I know. But, as I remind you once again, I don’t mind.” He kissed the back of Remus’ hand, lips brushing the edge of slightly soiled bandage taped across it. “I knew what I was signing up for, sweetheart. In sickness and in health.”  
Remus’ lips twitched, fighting a smile. “That’s in a marriage, Sirius.”  
Sirius let their joined hands rest on the table, and his rubbed his thumb soothingly along the side of Remus’ hand. “We will be married, someday.” He smiled brightly, as though all the laws and social conventions would fall away just like that if they really wanted them to. “Don’t you want to?”  
Remus choked out a laugh and shuddered. “You make everything sound so easy, Padfoot.”  
He wrinkled his nose. “Why shouldn’t it be, for us?”  
Remus allowed a real bout of laughter bubbling from his chest to escape, smiling in earnest. “Of course you would think that, you spoiled brat.”  
Sirius grinned. “See, you’ve got quite a bit to deal with yourself, haven’t you?”  
Remus shook his head, still smiling. “How could I forget.”  
“Beats me, Moony-mine.” He gently released his grip on Remus’ hand and let a more serious look creep onto his aristocratic features. “Can I please take you back to bed? You don’t look very comfortable. That thigh wound has got to be killing you.”  
Remus grimaced. “Alright.” He stood gingerly, pausing as Sirius scrambled around the side of the table to assist him. They made their way back to the bedroom, and Sirius lit a fire in the small hearth with his wand as they passed.  
Once Remus was settled under an amount of blankets Sirius deemed sufficient, he scooted in behind Remus and rubbed at his shoulders, thumbs digging in between aching muscles and soothing tired joints with massage oil saved for just such occasions.  
“You know, they’ve been working on that potion?” Sirius broke in after a while, pressing a kiss to Remus’ soft brown hair.  
“Hmm?” Remus asked sleepily. He looked up, tilting his head back to see Sirius’ face.  
“The one, for werewolves. You might be able to resist the change, if they get it right.”  
Remus laughed tiredly. “I wouldn’t take much stock in that, Pads. They’ve been saying things like that for ages.”  
“Oh, be optimistic for once, would you?” Sirius chided, wrapping his arms around Remus’ thin shoulders. The firelight flickered, bathing them both in a faint orange glow. “This war can’t last forever, and once people have stopped having to deal with the immediate problems, then other things can happen.” He kissed Remus’ temple, smiling at the faint bit of gray hair only he knew was there. “Laws will be redefined, for men and wolves,” another kiss pressed slowly onto his cheekbones, “new discoveries will be made, and you and I will live happily ever after.”  
Remus closed his eyes and managed a faint, exhausted grin. “Maybe you’re right, Padfoot. Maybe everything is just going to get better.”  
Sirius hummed happily. “I’m always right, love.”  
And as the firelight and Sirius warmed him, and he fell slowly asleep under the tender ministrations of the one he loved, Remus could almost believe it.


End file.
